:lovers:
Saturday, April 29, 2006 || Wonderful day...
Hahaz... Came across the Kit Kat Cherry Blossom Advertisement... Wa say i want the handphone pouch and the mechanical pencil lehz.. so nice sia.. Urm, will go and ask ... haha... =)
Today was wonderful sia so long nv stayed at home the whole day and do my own things and slack too.. do my homework (still not done) haha.. going through the topics i have learnt from the start (still dun understand) jia liat liao lah... Well, today i bought a gift to pamper myself.. haha.... bought a palm top tungsten e2.. not PDA.. my sis had but i didnt wan a so high tech wan i wun know how to use it anyway.. Use it for my schedule and things to remind myself .. Brand new at $200...
But today tink becoz of the weather or i stand under the sun yesterday too long feeling dizzy rite now.. hopefully later pop a few pandol and rest.. Hope will be better.. Alrite then cracking my brain rite now trying to understand how to use calculator to do my statistic n ACCOUNTS... haiz.. ciao~!~!
Rui Qin |Saturday, April 29, 2006
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Friday, April 28, 2006 || Nice day Out...
Today so tiring, tyring to upload my blog but something with it ... This morning went to work at Caltex hse near my old working place.. Giving out free milkmaid for those who show us the label of other condense milk or frm nestle r eligible to redemp a can of milkmaid low fat for free.. then those "ladies" so irritating... Keep coming to us with stupid lame excuse to get for free.. forget to bring the label can have free or not?? I wan to try its the new pdt can have it?? Hey dun understand simple english or i'm speaking UFO language..
Anyway not the 1st time already, didnt bother so much..Talk to them nicely.. even though its like they are quarelling with me... lolx.. Up to them too.. I hack care attitude ah or more worst they redempt the milkmaid from us then tear the label and redemp again.. Then most stupid, those "ladies" sell to the passer by at 80 cents per can.. wat the toot.. Then we outsmart them by graffiti the label of the redemption milkmaid.. haha.. All of us trying to come up new idea so that there isnt any loopholes during the redemption like wat the aunties doing.. Get for free its okie, but they have done the wrong things by selling it to the passer-by at 80cents per can when we are doing the sales for 3 for $3/=... (-_-") veri upsetting rite??haiz...
Standing under the hot sun, luckily sharon jie asked us to wear white top if not all of us heat stroke already..Urm, good sales today despite the redemption going on.. then have to wear the milkmaid aprons.. haha.. .jpg)
Took a silly looking JW pics.. haha at first reluctant to let me take then i say take for fun la.. haha... --> Opps m i 2 bad?? Nice pose ah ??? (^_^) So Girl Girl (juz jking
) ...PJ dun nid to worry already, got a bf in future take care of e kitchen already.. lolx..
Tiring day sia... then chris treat us to coffee club for lunch.. Sumptous lunch, have pasta for my lunch but didnt manage to finish eating, the share is too much already...
Then meet Pj at Ceinleisure.. so sorry to make her wait so long, but we finish late today.. Was quite messy for today events. At first didnt wanna to go Kbox coz today wanna to go home early so tat i can rest early too. Being tired for the 1 whole week didnt relie rest and slack well.. But in the end i treat her to KBox and sing till i now no more voice liao... =( Of coz we didnt miss the chance to take photos la..
Our hobbies wh.jpg)
enever we go lehz.. Where can miss out ??? Where is juliz the panda??? I tink i am the panda now overtook her place.. Triple Eyebag n darkrings.. SOb sob
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Today working then saw april, urm she on her way to have her lunch its kind of her to drop by... =).. Juz reach home not long ago. Tired out already but waiting for my hair to dry so here i m blogging ... I'm feeling beta than the last few days... Happier and of coz take things easier and learn things through alot of points of view n slow in steps, slow my paces of life down too 2 njoy the things ard me..
Now busy working and studying got no other time for others things still can handle well rite now.. Can't imagine if other things have been loaded to me.Take things slowly...Got money but no time.. haha.. Tat PJ so funny we went shopping at heeren then she wanted to buy unlimted stuffs with limited funds.. haha.. cant blame her, mi too.. tat human isnt it??? But have to spend wisely for me, have spend a bomb in my driving n textbook and everythings.. got to save for my rainy days. if not i didnt wan to take frm my parents old enough 2 tink.. they cant support mi for the rest of my life n they are old already cant work much 2... Didnt spend much today but bought a small pouch for $9 for myself..
Wanted for a long time then we walk to far east to get it.. Somemore its red in colour.. This season colors of mine.. Red, Purple and Lime Green... haha... =) ate Old Chang Kee with pj bought some things to fill our stomach for my dinner too.. then we share she poor things sia stuffs everything to her if i cant finish..hehe.. sorry ah.. coz i knw u hungry n u can eat.. =) .. then *toot* dirty my clothes.. wat the *toot*.. hated tat most.. Have no mood if my clothes is dirty lucky we are going home soon if not i will either go home or buy new wan if unwashable after my visit to the toilet.. (*_^)
Tml sat n sun going to stay at hm to study, actually wanted to go out with evelyn n yen ru tml but cannot la have dozens of homework nid to do if not mon working full shift no time to do ...going library tml to do some research for my work. Trying to understand wat my lecturers have been teaching me for e past 1 week. Trying to adpat the speed tat they are going... my ICA coming soon (-_-") so fast sia.. Tat's my test btw.. Relax Relax... Can do it..
Going to rest lehz.. My private roller coaster coming to fetch me already.. haha to my party world lo... lolx.. Ciao... ~!~! Juz to let u knw u r nv forgotten... Nw n Alw =) Hey dun forget me la, sad ah =( so bad de...
Be happy even though u got too much to handle coz when u smile and tin
k positive things isnt out of control till we can solve things will solve by itself when we smile at it.. so SMILE AND THE WORLD WILL SMILE BACK AT U !~!~!
Got nothing to do.. Slack awhile and Use my sis hp N6280 to took this pic.. Super clear sia... 2 megapixels.. --> haha.. she's too rich keep changing her hp but none of my biz...rather save the money to go for my holidays.. Coming soon *** (^(oo)^) piggy alw.. Love ~!
Rui Qin |Friday, April 28, 2006
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Thursday, April 27, 2006 || Long Weekend .. But lots of things to do...
This morning wake up early maybe get use to it already but MY DARK RING cannot make it already la.. so jia liat.. haiz..cant blame any1. Gave QT my monitor ytd so new sia.. but its okie la.. gave it to her rather than i throw it away still can use juz tat my motherboard gone case.. haha dun understand what my lecture teaching was off today for my macroeconomic lessons.. haha doing my own tings.. get to learn alot within the 1 week but got to explore too.. But i wanted to stay at home to do my things i don wan to go anywhere ....2.jpg)
Muahahahahahaha.. tml friday already.. urm, good days for me to rest well.. Feeling alrite today la.. still feeling sick sia but haf to do alot of things so cant afford to waste anytime ya.. hehe... =) but tml gotta to work at Raffles places at 11 am... at least can sleep abit later..
--> secretly took juliz's pic when she was talking to me..haha cute rite
Right now having 'dinner' break but my classmate and i didnt wan to eat so here we are in the Sun Plaza free access lab doing some surfing.. haiz.. got millions of things waiting for me to complete.. juz have to get use to it wat to do.. Thankz dude, send me the 183 club songs.. Gan Qing Xian simply love tat song.. haha.. keep repeating when i on the bus... haha.. but juz dun know y my tears juz roll down well some sort of touch by e songs and tink abt Pj... no comments.. shall not further elaborate no point.. Its up to individual to view things.. hopefully hings will get well soon wor... =)
Today went to sch early to do abit 'studying' haha... then meet juliz for lunch ... well of coz miss her.. ytd talked on the phone with pj then urm.. found out something.. well, my dear i can truly understand all.. coz sometimes words cant describe how u feel but i relie can understand becoz me too walking through tat path before and now too... I cant comments much on this too.. After all i also a outsiders and of coz a fren to comfort and listen to u when u nid. Ytd she also say tat all of us are busy with our own things still dun know whether our frenship can withstand any 'climate' tat we are going to face, well it depends on individual too, hw much you wan to put into a friendship is the same as a R/S... i cant explain tat but i'm sure when u nid any1 juz come to me i will do my very best to be by your side... tml will go out with her spend sometimes for her.. free after my work no driving coz i cant book any slot so tat i know she wun tink so much when i around.. hehe BHB hor..
u can alw foregone this frens whom u tink tat its not worth it at all to meet or been frenz with.. wat can i do more than these i don know i relie dun... M i relie tat bad to cause the pro to fall on u .. if i relie juz tel mi straight in my face even though i know its hurt but i rather short pain than long pain.
I relie have no more courage to face any more things tat are coming on my way, trying to run away but in the end i still nid to face it isnt it?? Well, these are the things tat i alw ask myself. Y on earth shld i face these fate but this is life i nid to learn from the things i faced and still learning.. Picking up all the bits and pieces and the cut that i suffering.. Things definitely getting well, e smile is on but meanwhile all juz hyporcites of myself... no courage juz no courage.. i shld learn to be relie hard heartened not to treat any1 nice but too bad tat's me.. =) if i dun i'm not RQ...
Darrice i simply miss u sia.. Faster lehz... alw so slow de... =0)
Ciao~!~
Ciao ~
Rui Qin |Thursday, April 27, 2006
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006 || Dun know lahz...
Today juz not my day lo.. Able to catch the early bus to school but slept like pig cant even open my eyes... was down with flu today... BUT i forgot to bring my effective communication textbook and acounting lectures notes... Wanna to shout it out but i cant turn to any1.. Wanna to go kbox alone to sing my heart out..
Recently, i like to shut myself in the sch library to do my own things.. i dun know why.. haiz.. prephaps i didnt wan myself to tink too much of anything... I juz being foolish tat all.. Wo Hen Xin Kou... who can understands... Till my whole body relie haf no energy to fight for anything. Can collapsed anytime.. Can keep telling myself to be strong.. Today felicia came to sch, i was surprised tat she suddenly hug me and cried.. My tears was rolling at the tip of my eye side but trying to pull myself through... I have been fighting the battle all alone.. facing a lots of time alone.. ytd i was so frustrated when my sis was teaching me accounts after so many times that she repeated still catch no ball... Left mi alone reading the textbook was sitting alone in the kitchen using the dining table to do my work.. Tears started to roll down my cheeks.. I dun know izzit becoz of the stress of wat.. But i was like crying like so bitter.. My chest was so pain...
In class joke around with my classmates but when sch finish.. I was alone again.. I can be alone and maybe i started likes to be alone too.. a quiet me... =(... Trying to plan my schedule so pack that i wanna to forget everything clear off my mind.. Throw away the stress and burden.. Was talking on the phone with PJ relie miss her and Juliz... relie lo... Trying hard to forget things but dun know why lo... Try to drink.. Go clubbing??? still dun know.. I juz dun like to go this place... Sorry didnt blog ytd becoz i got so much things to do then dun have the time to blog then also wanna to catch more sleep. When i was about to sleep my dear darrice called me.. we chatted very long miss the time we had.. haha a nice chat though hope to meet him before he goes army ah.. kind of miss him coz he relie can understand me tat well ... haha... Not totally... Its juz the emoitonally hurtzz... hopefully will get well soon.. Recently receive too much le.. cant take it.. will bonkers anytime...
Ytd out of the urge went for treatment for my hair then cut my hair too.. but only the frine... too long veri itchy sia dun like it... Wanted to cut short my hair.. still dun know whether wan to cut anot.. Haiz... Tink i will buy the DKNY for myself juz to pamper ba... Juz too tired not physically only but also emontionally too... Too much things for me to handle le ba... Urm.. this fri tink will go kbox ask PJ to go with me.. she's not in good mood too.. Cheer her up then see wat i can... (^-^) I don know ... JUZ PMS F&*^$&amp;amp;*))*&*(&*%$ .... juz not myself... Hey is my characteristics sux?? M i alw too good to people till i alw take advantage of?? M i blinded by the kindness tat i have for people... I wish i can be hard hearented i juz wish i can but i will NV... its too much for me to bear already.. I miss darrice.. hehe..
Rui Qin |Wednesday, April 26, 2006
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Monday, April 24, 2006 || Alone Again...
Haiz.. Time passed so fast into 2nd week of sch already. Today my dad sent me to sch, but was he lost the way. Travel the wrong route he thought i study some sch near to NYP.. then asked me where is it.. then i told him hey I'm studying NYP lahz..hehe..he asked to study hard coz by the time i finish education he might not be able to support me anymore..I was like quietly teared abit and promise him i will... Quite upset already..I will nv let my parents nor myself down.. trying to struggle between working and studying.. haha.. sorry juli know that i have to meet u at 7.45 a.m wasn't purposly to be late i was out of my hse early already but was lost again when we reached sch. My dad was going round the sch.. haha.. he's like to ride his motorcycle..so comfortable.. it have been a long time since the last time i rode after he changed into a new wan.. so let him be lo.. Enjoying the breeze.. so cool so long nv like tat liao. Kind of miss it...
Today was quite happy ya.. Early in the morning having IT class then throughout the lesson was laughing till i teared together with felicia.. haha..she's always sitting beside me during lecture and tutorial...She's like another juli who will clear my doubts and teach me whenever i don't understand the subject that was being taught...Quite Fun and enjoy myself alot helps me to destress and relax... Didnt go and eat my brunch when we are dismissed 1hr earlier before our next lesson. I have stayed in class to do my work.. Stayed together with Angie, Yvonne and felicia, we are laughing all the way.. URGH!~!~ hate the effective communication skill dislike the lecture but tell myself cannot i mus learn to love her so that i can do well. But trying to deceive myself again.. haha (-_-") Sh*t me man.. I spoilt my favourite sweater, vespa de.. sian half... Now got no sweater to sch liao, cold to death sia.. going to buy new wan wanted to buy adidas de but now no $$.. haiz.. maybe buy a adidas sweater and the DKNY watch for myself ba.. but don bear to spend tat amt of money on myself.. haiz.. see how ba...
Got alot of homework nid to do ... haiz.. so tired already when will this ever ends.. haha.. started to like to go to sch ...But juz now receive a call frm felicia that she's will not be going to sch from tml onwards becoz TP have asked her to enroll into their sch to take up Hospitaility and Tourism... SAD AH!~!~~ Alone again.. going to sit alone and she's my partner for the next few projects.. how sia... I dun know liao.. haiz... Got talk to others in class but not laugh and joke as crazy when with felicia... Somemore nobody taking bus with me again... Coz we took the same bus together home either 70 or 76.. Haiz this is life lahz.. Parts and Together... hopefully things will went well for me... Ciao~!~ Collapsed...
Rui Qin |Monday, April 24, 2006
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Sunday, April 23, 2006 || Kena harassment... (-_-")
Today was sunday so i expected the coffee shop will be crowded with people... i was working as usually la.. then approach this group of 20s, 30s,40s uncle trying to promote the product to them.. then got 1 'uncle' in his 20s look quite friendly approached me and chat with me... Well of coz i chatted with him too.. coz this is part of my job tot he's trying to find out more abt the product that i was promoting.
Then something went wrong sia... he started to ask me personal stuff and he wants to shake my hand, to know my name and contact number... i was like so scare sia... quickly walked away.. then he followed me sia... OMG... i didnt know how to react at that time le.. was scare totally scare until i was shivering... wat to do... fever still on.. body aching as well...didnt have the energy to talk so much.. he was about to go home then asked me again, ask me when i will be there again and asked me why i didnt work at night.. wat the toot... hey i'm not beer girl la.. sian half... nvm its okie.. i stil have to depend on myself cant turn to any1 hardly know them... luckily i went away without answering him.. anyway this is not the first time these kinds of things happened on myself already... haha.. hey i'm not trying to say that i'm very attractive alrite pls dun get the wrong idea but if u wan go ahead i cant stop any1.... no wonder PJ n MU~EH was saying tat i was uncle's favourite.. ya lo agreed with tat.. maybe found a rich uncle and get married lo... haha....u wun know rite it doesnt matter i like him or not... most practical he's super rich then maybe la... (-_-").. juz trying to crack a lame joke which is not funny at all.. but truly la.. unless he super duber rich will consider.. who cares rite??? M i practical??? urm... prephaps...
I prayed hard hopefully time can passed quickly today response was quite good.. beta than sat of coz.. sold almost 20 cups.. haha...sample until i have no more cups left..urm... good day.. but still feeling unwell.. going to rest now.. going my grandma house ( my resort ) haha.. go there and enjoy the breeze.. so cold and quiet can enjoy n relax myself there and do my homework.. say wan to do since ytd night but didnt manage to do so.. was feeling weak... haiz... Ciao~!~!!
Back frm granma hse, tired day didnt have any sleep haiz... bought a new phone N6280 a 3G phone.. but too bad not for me .. for my younger sis.. haha.. she got her dream phone even though last year when she bought her N7610 she said she not going to change for 3 years but bullshit la.. 1 year liao change lo.. she gave my eldest sis her phone anyway none of my biz.. juz know tat i still a dozen of homework to do sia... erm.. gotta to rush for my work now.. talk more again... nitez... *miss*
Rui Qin |Sunday, April 23, 2006
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Saturday, April 22, 2006 || Unorganise Me...
Today as usually la... working early in the morning.. the moment board the bus slept throughout the journey nice nap.. haha.. cooling weather too... Stupid uncle again don know why lo keep having things tat links with the uncle sia... (-_-") selling omega today didnt wear spec, then got 1 coffeeshop uncle talked to me and say ytd i wear spec izzit today nv wear look prettier.. wat the... hey i'm working la.. mind you.. stopped harrasing me sia.. I'm not thick skin but this happen for the last 2 days liao.. but nvm tml last day.. haha but i will be back again next fri lehz... OMG... help me sia... *fainted* liao ....
Today after work went to sengkang to meet juli to study abit of mircoeconomic... well still a little bit unsure but nvm i shall read the textbook then... today not feeling good... having headache but tahan the whole day... meet juli at 1 but i reach sengkang within 15 mins frm tampines... i slept in the bus and overslept lo... lolx.. then i shop around alone and in the end i spent almost $100.. i bought 5 pants and 2 collar t-shirt... pretty cheap.. trying to save money as well.. cheap n nice can buy not necessary nid to be branded...Met juli for lunch and saw yvonne at sakura.. with her frenz so long nv see her already.. erm.. nice chat though.. then we went to the library to do some stuffs and chatted a little bit personal of hers.. well i almost cried but holding back my tears telling myself to be strong and i have too... no matter wat i shall nv let my tears to conquer who i am... Well, at least juli knows where she standing and the progress of hers too.. feeling happy for her as least she met some1 nice.. give her my best wishes... of coz as her good fren wanna her to be happy to tat goes to PJ as well with JW.. erm... Rainbow after rain.. Smile still can be seen on their face i already contented...For myself?? STUDY HARD!~!~!~!~!~ JIA YOU RQ...hehe.. (^_^)
Abit unorganised for the past 1 week.. still quite lost even though sch started already... erm.. alot alot of homework nid to do and reading of textbook all the books are killing me sia.. so heavy n EXPENSIVE... sianz half all the money earned go to the textbook but wat to do... hypotonise myself to study hard so tat i wun let my parent down especially my mother she asked me to study real hard.. erm she knows rite now i super duber tired but she didnt put too much pressure on me too..
Going to rewrite my notebook look so UNTIDY.. don like it..wrap my textbook and of coz do some reading of the textbook but now i feeling terrible so bloated dun know why and exhausted already but i haven finish my things.... tml SUNDAY already lehz... OMG... weekends passed so fast sia... i got million n millions of things waiting for me to complete... luckily today do some shopping to relax myself if not i going bonkers sooner or later... hehe... Great achievement today not becoz i spent $100 but becoz i manage to sell more cups of omega compared to ytd which i sold only 2 lo... LOLx...
Juz came back.. went to meet mandy and my pig kor lo.. chatted with them.. feeling so guilty ... so long nv go out with them due to my busy schedule but they make the effort to come down to meet me... well... hehe thanz a million wor.. of coz i miss them alot all the lame jokes that they cracked with me to make mi happy too... trying to make myself busy in order to stay happy... Tink going to fall sick soon.. juz now kena drenched abit... having fever now... hopefully will get well soon, i still can munch my tutu cake so nice sia.. my favourite.. with peanuts and dou sa.. going to get fat liao lahz....Fever is not subside anyway... haha... Ciao!~!~study time lo
Rui Qin |Saturday, April 22, 2006
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Friday, April 21, 2006 || Can time turned back??
Haiz.. today v exhausted i can juz doze off easily whenever i was... haha... sleep like pig.. can dozed off withine minutes... hehe... Today same ah, working then after that went to sch to collect my admin pass and buy my mircoeconomic textbooks...
Took a cab to sch today after work.. in a hurry becoz i got driving lessons at 12.45 have it for 2 lessons... till 1615hr... tiring nid alot of concentration nia..fnished my module 1 for driving already... it had been a month since the last lesson... today the instructor is so young... OMG, abit inexperience... urm.. shall not comments too much too... then today almost kena into accident... *heng* ah.. God bless me sia... He asked mi alot of question but all r personal stuffs, but i'm fine with tat chatted with him and talked. He took me for my whole 2 practical.. erm.. then after lessons realised got 4 missed calls, 2 frm juli and 2 frm pj. Today didnt wan to go for the steamboat at marina south, too tired to go out already wanna to go home and rest on my bed...
Heard frm pj tat they actually wanted to go geylang for dim sum but in the end cancelled. I told her if they wana to come i might consider to go but in the end didnt go also.. They wanted to go for seoul garden at bugis then i told her tat i wan to sleep if she manage to wake me up at 6pm then i go if not i not going.. Haha.. the moment i reach home i dozed immediately the moment i fall on the floor.didnt wan to talk too much but don know why my left hand recently have no strength sia.. Wow say i'm so young lehz..haiz. Juz finished talking to shevon on the phone, it have been a long time since we last chatted...we exchange the encounter we have came across.. I mean i relie can understand how she feels... sometimes we juz dun understand and prephaps we are too sensative.. i dun know...
Anyway juz now, chatted to shaun on msn..haha, he's so funny he juz received the gift that Mr. Ty bought for him at taiwan becoz his mum kept forgetting to bring it home until today.. urm, his gift is still with me will pass to him the next time i see him. Chatted with him for a longest time ever.. he's so funny teach me mircoeconomic over msn... urm, can totally understand what is he teaching.. unlike my lecture didnt even understand at all becoz he speak so soft.. wahaha.. urm.. going back to study later.. ciao~!~
Rui Qin |Friday, April 21, 2006
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Thursday, April 20, 2006 || Freak out...
haha.. today got nothing much to say coz have been busy since very early in the morning... wake up at 6.15am took bus to bedok for the omega sampling... reach bedok too early... slept in the bus for the whole journey veri tired ... hehe... then went to eat abit for my breakfast.. then rush for work.. erm...
working alone today... coffeshop located at bedok.. the coffeeshop uncle was so kind sia.. they are so friendly to me.. ask mi want to eat bread or noodles or blah blah... hehe.. so pai seh told them i have already eaten liao.. then rush for sch.. went to buy all my textbooks .. so heavy 3 BIG TEXTBOOK already cost me $95... hey i'm now super broke.. cant afford my lunch n dinner liao...
Met juli for lunch .. hehe.. awhile ate very fast coz rushing for my 1 pm lecture.. have to tahan all the way to night... haiz have to la wat to do.. all by myself.. then got dinner break before my 6pm lecture... bought a bread in my bag earlier this morning before went to sch .. wallet no even a single cent leave.. so sad ah... but tahan again lo... train my tolerance level... Haiz... I got nth much to say la... even though haf to force myself to concentrate on study but minds still sometimes wander around... tat part is not imp. so dun let me say coz it still trickle the hurt sia..
The bag is killing me lo.. so damn heavy gotta to carry ard till i reach home.. somemore i cant login into the computer in sch.. so have to find the technical people.. wat the toot.. they eat snake ah... all not in the room de... walk here and there sia.. hey the sch not small lo.. 4th of sch nothing much too.. coz i'm still not myself shall not say more... ciao !~!~
Rui Qin |Thursday, April 20, 2006
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Wednesday, April 19, 2006 || Not the same piggy anymore... Locking up myself
Today i relie have no energy or strength to do anything.. Today is PJ's b'dae we went KBOX together.. and juli went too.. hehe so excited but i'm so sorry today i kept very quiet... Even though i know i'm not 1 who can be very quiet.. maybe becoz too exhuasted already ba.. didnt rest well for the past 2 days...
Tml starts lesson at 1300 and ends at 2000 but i nid to wake up early to work.. have to tahan until weekend then can rest well.. Haiz.. so exhausted.. I feel myself have becoming more weird i don know y.. juz feel tat.. I'm veri quiet not the usual me who is very noisy that jumps here and there. Maybe becoz of all the things that are happening around me... Too much for me to handle alone.. Some of the things i started to hack care and ignored already since words r spreading faster than i tot... I cant depend on any1 but me,myself and I.. Since u like it in this way, juz let it be...
Perphaps it a good thing ba.. Right now i feel myself likes to be alone and keep everything to myself.. not like the past where i likes to share.. I don mind suffer in slience becoz it only me who knows what is going on n there's nobody i can turn too.. The smiles on my face is getting lesser and of coz the cheerful me have disappear maybe for the time being or forever i wun know... I m too exhausted to handle things that are out of hands, i cant predict things that are going to happen.. All i can say is burden on me is ok.. Totally no strength to talk and i dun wish to talk so much..i rather listen to my mp3 and do my works...
Ok lo.. Past is past wat can i say ?? I don wish to deceive myself anymore, i know PJ n Juli will scold me it not the noisy piggy anymore.. Locking myself in my own paradise ba... I'm not trying to say tat i noble to carry what was left for me to handle.. but i rather hurtz myself rather than hurting another person.. Hope u will understand... I know i can chose to be happy but for the time being juz let me be .... Let u explain whateva u wan to others, coz i shall not let this bothers me anymore too tiring for me to explain already... Likes doesnt mean have to b together s long s i know u r happy is already sufficient... (^-^) anyway its not the first time tat this kind of things happen on me... so juz let it b... My frenz understands is already good enough for me... I juz nid their understanding other people i don even wanna to care.. None of my piggy biz...
Sliently accept everything as long as i know i didnt hurtz any1 is fine with me already.. Having terrible margraine today until i cried during KBOX session.. hehe..tink i dont intend to celebrate my b'dae le.. I going on my break soon, somewhere i can relie unwind myself, relax and where i belong to the nature... I'm so sorry to PJ n Juli i know u all care for me i appreaciate it alot.. for the meanwhile just let me be.. dun bother about me i juz wish to b alone.. i dun even wan to step out of my house for once .... How i wish i can b like last time when i was so carefree??? I do miss but wat to do... Ciao ~!~!
Rui Qin |Wednesday, April 19, 2006
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006 || Thoughts flashing through my minds...
Yt didnt sleep well...tired though..keep tinking alot of things n keep reminding myself of stuffs.. conquered the whole floor area to sleep hehe..Hugging my eyeore n pig to sleep with me ytd nitex..feel so isolated and lonely haiz..trying hard to force myself to sleep but have a light sleep only... its 6.30am i'm laying on my bed n use my lappy early in the morning already...
Think back abt it relie No point nia.. is like we are old enough to make decisions and times we tend to run away frm reailty n truth... But sometimes I asked myself why dont we give 
both of us a chance ?? U wun know the outcome unless u try isnt it, i not desperate to find 1 but i know the feeling dont lies... I have to ask my heart what i wan, some sort of lost the way in a forest, but i know what i wan to achieve for the best for myself. Human feeling are so difficult to understand and my feelings are all entangled up... Hope to be free again...
Ytd nite chatted with ashley and juli, meeting ash today after my class at our old 'dating' place... hehe... Serangoon Garden Coffee Bean tat's my favourite places.. Sit there n talk can relie help to relax myself... =) Chatted with juli abt how's her class and told her mine.. Both of us was like =(...sob sob.. julil sms mi when u free i'm ur 'part time boyfriend la'don forget me leh.. PJ also hor..
Today suppose to meet ashley in the end cancel coz she got some imp. dates .. so i wanna to go bras basah to buy second hand book at least cheaper... I damn stress sia.. If i talk during lecturer lesson then i going to miss out alot of things liao.. Sad ah.. gotta to train myself to be attentive in all lessons sia.. Didnt relie understand if my weekend i didnt work i have to go and study outside lehz... So so so much to catch up.. self disicpline to do all these.. Feeling tired now.. tml class starts at 8 am so gotta to rest early tonight..
Suay ah.. today went to sch without my lecturer notes... I forgot to bring them out with mi... A bit blurred abt the time table and all the subject making mi headache.. abit confused didnt like to talk in class, so i was quiet la... trying to pay attention to all the lesson despite little sleep... JULI n TY gotta to teach me ah..... sob sob... I feeling so weird ah.. so quiet.. so unlike me.. but will get use to it soon!~!~ Cannot i muz stop these liao gotta to study hard!~!~ I CAN DO IT!~!
Will talk more tonight~!~! Ciao No energy are left to fight the emotional battle... Totally off~!~!
Rui Qin |Tuesday, April 18, 2006
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Monday, April 17, 2006 || I miss KB & KL lotz.. lotz
Today my first day in NYP, new to the environment.. got up super dubber early to meet juliz at the fountain at 0730 but i was late.. i get out of my house at 0645 already lo... lolx..the bus was so packed.. sian half lucky i board the bus early mange to sit at the last row and sleep!~!~!.. haha.. But too bad the bus so nosiy .. The guyz sitting in front was talking so loud sia... Until my mp3 blast liao also still can heard their voices but i still continue sleeping .. Continue my journey in lala land~!~.. hehe..
Wore skirt and a collar t to sch today.. erm.. abit sporty but i'm not... too fat liao.. hehe.. went to class at B.505 .. went for my software application lesson i was so toot sia... dun even know how to on the computer so pai seh le... then hor.. coz i use to it liao ma.. on 1 button then i kept pressing the monitor button.. tot in sleep mode ..then cannot on.. so panicked then i scare liao alone in class dun know any1.. HOW!!!! Lecturer starts her lesson already still haven on, juz in time a guy sat beside me i follow how he on his computer nia.. so pai seh i tink he tot hey this gal cannot make it lo.. on a computer also dun know ah.. erm.. ok la new classmate but hor all so young then the topic we chatted also different.. a bit of gap... Think differntly also..OMG have to buy so many textbook and notes. there gone my $100/=... =(..
The lecturer teach was like bullet train ... so fast trying to listen what she taught, didnt manage to catch up.. i relie miss my old classmate of ITE lehz.. so fun with them around can joke and laugh and talk nonsense... hehe.. miss the time sia.. I miss you like crazy.. I'm carzy hehe...anyway i'm still myself... but after sch i didnt join my classmate i ciao liao dun wanna to stay in sch for so long... haha...
After computing software went for effective communication skills... something like wat i took in ITE CMB.. I HATE THE LECTURER.. she's 'pai chi' ITE student lo.. ask ppl to intro themselves then my turn when i intro then tel her when i'm frm she say ok didnt allow me to finish and ask the next student.. wat the toot... i'm going to make sure i'm going to score in her subject i wun let her put me down sia.. NV... wat wrong with ITE student.. She ask who got A1 for 'O' level eng nobody have .. but got some classmate of mine got B3 for eng and so on... then she said B4 onwards dun nid already... wat the... she said those scored B can push a bit harder to get A... then say dun tink can get destination so early.. hey wat the problem with her...i was like totally switch off sia.. NVM .. i'm going to proof it to her... Meet juli n TY a while at sch admin... i miss juli alot sia.. especially the time we had in class... (-_-")... talk abt class stuffs... sian lo.. like overage student like tat...
After lunch i had accounting lecturer... COOL man!! I LIKE THE LECTURER... she's so funny knows tat the subject is dry she will crack jokes in between at least keep us awake... Its was raining in the middle of my lessons.. nice weather to sleep... haha.. anyway i ciao after my lecturer and got my notes to give tuition wor... Times is tough without Juli n PJ's laughter...Tommy's n Mathew's lameness... The time we had together during breaks and talks craps session.. haiz i simply missed... BORED MI TO DEATH~!~!
Today can say i'm alone ba.. tinking back alot of stuffs too during my break time.. didnt involve too much with my new classmate like there's nothing for them to know me deeper.. no point... hehe, juliz still understand mi the best!~!~!~
Well I miss alot of ppl who came across my mind.. I still sometimes tink how things getting on, can he cope, can he find his way to his class, can he get along with his new classmates? is he okie? did he eat anything or is he hungry?
But tinking too much leads mi to nowhere afraid to get hurt again.. i still missed.. wasn't hurt but some sort of missing directions... haiz...juz be normal ba let time reveal, let fate do the wonders...=P Things still normal when i met him, i like the way we talk coz it more comfortable this way, i like it...i hopes it still remains..i didnt want any misunderstanding arises between us again.. its relie painful for me to handle alone...those situations but i have to n need to..
today in middle of the class got a sms frm sharon jie..hehe =P n VK haha.. say all the best for my new day.. (-_-") but he did say he miss me but too bad.. i dun but as a fren i will la. my bro le... met up with him ytd for a while to pass the things i bought for him, he's going back this fri..
haiz...erm, didnt talk much also coz ytd wasnt in mood out of sudden when talking to my eldest sis burst out crying hehe.. feeling beta after tat =) I'm like tat if not happy or sad after a good cry i'm ok le.. back to the siao cha bo mi.. loving it!~!~
I was beat out totally today ytd slept 4 hrs only, reach home ard 9pm...busy with sch stuffs and have to send my lecturer some stuffs too.. too tired lehz.. *yawn* Going to sleep le... tml stil have to go sch..haiz... Ciao ~! Nitey.. dude... (^(oo)^)
Rui Qin |Monday, April 17, 2006
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Sunday, April 16, 2006 || Tired me man!!!
Hehe.. today is sunday suppose to go palau ubin early in the morning but dh said cancel coz weather is not good.. haiz.. so tired sia.. then didnt mangae to fall back to sleep then meet qiu ting to go and eat breakfast.. hehe, she designing her blog for 2 days didnt sleep.. hey sorry ah.. ur blog too nice liao.. i make some amendments n used it for my blog.. all ur effort nia... will change another skin again lehz.. Qiu Ting took a gong picturs of me... sian half then i took 
her also.. hehe...
---> look so gong nia... daydreaming becoz not enough rest.. haiz...
Then i decided to meet juli at 2.30 pm to shop around for PJ's present and shop for my sch.. sian today parent out of town have to wait until tue then they come back.. got to b busy with my things lehz.. Washing have to b done and other house chores.. hehe.. well its okie.. keeping my house clean i simply loving it... Went out with juli to Dobhy Ghaut then walk to far east to eat..
During eating we chatted alot nia.. Well.. wun run away from the reailty again despite its veri hurting... I am totally a idiot and a dumb ass man! i can't stop scolding myself.. i dun know why i'm totally hurt.. is it a wrong to like a person as a frenz without having BGR, I don wan to involve in any yet.. not committed to do so.. But it like juli understands how i feel totally.. If situations that have coz pressure on u i truely sorry .. i dun mean that to have happen on any1.. honestly speaking, i also dun wish these kinds of thing happen on u i rather i pick up all the things that are left to handle... My guilty conscience is clear and there's nothing for me to fear.. If i can face i hope u can.. I'm sad tat becoz of these things our frenship drafted away, this is wat i pity abt..If u have treated cold even though we still talk a bit, i relie don wish the frenship would fade off like tat... u're alw a bro, best pal, comforter who i can turn to and ask for advise.. My advisor also.. Becoz both of us kept quiet abt these things.. i know its awakened to talk abt it... But nv will i regret knowing you..
Sometimes i will ask myself y shld i alw help my frenz... Everything i will get the same thing back... HURTZ... well.. how can i protect myself.. if i say i dun wan to bother abt my frenz anymore i'm so sorry i cant help myself to do such things.. i din wan to see my frenz to fall when i can give them my helping hand... Well this is life, i gotta to learn i have learned alot alot... Those who nid help i can alw b there... feel free to approach me.. Promised !!
I dun know how to describe how i feel.. I treasure every frenship that comes along my life, and becoz of this attitude i alw veri soft heartened.. Even ppl had done a smallest tings for me i'll be touched.. Juliz and Pj know tat i dun expect them to repay any of their kindness neither will i accept them to spend money unneccessary on me... In such case, i tink i have to make myself to be a more tougher person.. Wun treat any1 nice nor open up myself again... I totally hurtz.. Its up to u to treat me... I wun b bothered anymore but i know i will.. Frenzship meant everything s to me... Nv regret in helping u in anything.. not u alone, others who approach me i will too.. If u take in pride having veri confident tat every gals have been treating u good, have good feeling towards u means = BGR.. then i'm relie sorry.. i'm not wat u think !~!~ Who knows the feeling of losing a frenz??
I'm not angry with any1 neither do i scolding any1.. juz wanna the fact rite, misunderstands to clear n let u know how i feel, tat all.. It okie if u haf hack care attitude but let u know yr frenz ard u care for u.. prehaps u may learn to b in their shoe... to those who u treasure alot.. Maybe u tink that who m i to say all these to u.. Other ppl's tinking i don care neither can i do anything abt it... ITS BEYONG MY CONTROL...I also don wish ah.. 
I hope u understand all these =) .. Different ppl have different character, but too bad my character is these i juz cant stop myself to care and think of others before myself.. this is me ,the true, real RQ =).. Piggy (^(oo)^) Jux comfortable being myself.. Wun change for others... Promised!~!~ I will still treat u as my beloved frenz.. Now n ever!~!
Nobody understands how i feel now ciao~!~
Rui Qin |Sunday, April 16, 2006
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Saturday, April 15, 2006 || Juz 1 2 B myself... A TRUE ME!~!~
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Having big headache sia.. Ytd didnt catch any sleep..Not becoz i didnt wan to rest but it was my eldest sis.. slept together with her on the floor, coz my nephew came my house and stayed for 2 nights... I gave up my bed for him to sleep.. Ytd even though raining so heavily still went out alone.. erm.. spent $20 for a new bag and a new collar t-shirt... Feeling beta lehz..
Erm.. Today also have to send my nephew home, OMG his bag (luggage) was so heavy nia... hehe.. bought him to eat KFC for his brunch so naughty ah.. he got a few questions he didnt know how to do so trying to help him to solve but fight my lappy with me.. sad ah.. sob sob..
Went to meet PJ later in the noon to collect my luggage before i start sch if not will b busy all the way dun know i'm busy with wat too.. anyway my time table will be packed with sch, works and my driving also... quite a few things to do sia.. sian ah.. (-_-") beta also at least used my time to the fullest...
anyway juz chatted on e phone with juli and pj... well a good n nice chat though.. well, juliz have talked to me to my sense once again.. hey thanks dude if not i still idle in my own world.. get myself back normal already.. Get the facts correct and get back myself on feet.. btw gotta to tell tat i'm sure that i'm going to close my heart already. didnt wan to accept or let myself to fall so easily.Have no time for all these things anymore liao, i didnt wan to escape frm the problems.. even when juliz told me i'm firm enough to say that i'm not crying n relie i'm not shedding any tears at all... do u all belief? Well i know u all dun belief but i'm relie not.. I'm have been running away frm the problems for a period of time already coz i have been trying to make up for some mistakes that i have done.. I didn't wan to deceive myself anymore coz i have no more time left..got so much things to accomplish sia..
If u happen to read my blog.. i'm sorry.. frm today onwards i'm treating every 1 as frenz those who are close to me too,, my dearest sis n bros...=) Pls dun treat mi too cold i juz dun like coz i'm more comfortable joking and talking with every1 that i used to.. without having any special feeling ya.. =) is up to u to accept it or wat.. i dun know.. coz ppl heart is veri difficult to guess.. n i totally drained i dun wish to continue the game again... Not again.. I jux wish u have read and treat mi the way u used too..I know it very annoying and irritating if ppl r trying to pull the string.. I too hate it.. but i hope tat our frenship wun stop here.. if u haf any problems u too can approach mi will try my best to help any1.. Wan to get things straight I'll help any1 who approached mi for help.. s long s i know u r worthy to help... Dun wish to hurt any1 coz I'm running away frm the truth for a year lehz.. I'm so sorry tat all along i have mislead u n myself to give both of us the wrong feel. I dun wish to lost a good frenship between u n mi.. U're alw my fren, best frenz and of coz a bro to me~!~ I'm veri firm in all these words that i have said.. coz the longer the time i drag the more i will be hurt.. i'm trying to protect myself.. u can say i'm selfish, deceiving.. it relie up to u guys to judge.. I'm back to myself and a real me that have goals in life to achieve!~! =) BTW, thankz for all the cares and thankz for looking after me all these while.. so sorry if i ever m a burden to u.. =) didnt wan to b a burden to any1..Dun worry for me.. =) u still can see the happy me alw... =) a gal without worries n problems. free from worries smile r alw ready on her face.. =) i don wan to continue the guessing game anymore. =)
i treasure the frenship tat between us coz i dun wan to hurt any1 and don have the intention to do so... I'm not trying to put all the faults upon myself is juz tat it make mi reflects alot.. I gotta to b myself and truly myself.. I'm tired of all these.. why the hell should i be bothered by all these.. I have my aim and freedom to do the things i want and stop worrying about others. But too bad i cant stop worrying for my frenz.. But too bad frm now on, if ever i giving attitude stop bothering abt me.. I dun nid any sympathy nor any attentions frm any1 .. I juz wan to be myself... i've promised PJ already wat i have vowed that i should harden my heart frm tat moment n will nv feel touched if things comes unexpectedly.. I'm trying to protect myself against hurt again.. I truly hurt along the 2 years...
I'm who i'm.. shall not change for any1!~~!.. This is the true, real me... I'm looking forward on Mon.. get to know new frenz.. but honestly speaking i shall keep a low profile and will vanish frm sch once finished... I so sian lo.. Tml my parent out of the town again... (-_-") Oh ya.. i sprain my leg the day before when buying breakfast.. sob sob.. so painful still haven recover yet.. didnt consult any doctor.. =( veri pain until i cant put too much pressure on my left leg if not ... sad ah.. !~!~ shit me man!~!~!~
Rui Qin |Saturday, April 15, 2006
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Friday, April 14, 2006 || Alone in Paradise...
Haha.. Today's good friday so its a public holidays sia.. Nobody at home now.. My nephew came 
to my hse and stay with us.. haha.. He's so funny ask mi got anymore rice to eat in the middle of the night becoz he's hungry.. actually i was hungry also wanted to spread some bread to eat coz dinner didnt eat.. went to the kitchen and saw 2 'best fren' XIAO CHANG ...1 nvm but 2 leh... WA KAO!~!~ SCARE LIKE MAD SIA.. wat the fish &()^%#^^%$*(&^*
faster run to the living room.. didnt wan to move.. Wow say tat i most afraid of.. sian half.. (-_-")
So i decided to cook some instant noodle to share with my nephew.. I slept at 2 am watched a ghost show on Channel 8 with my younger sis.. stupid lo.. the show didnt get the storyline.. Lame and not scary at all.. even though i'm scare to watch but relie nothing de lo.. Like normal or worst than tat.. at the same time trying to pack my stuffs and ready my notebook for sch.. not tired at all even though have been busy for the whole day.. Haha.. coming wed is PJ's b'dae (19th Apr) i studied until 12PM only.. after my sch will meet her to celebrate her b'dae... hehe... =P Mine still long way to go err... so wait slowly anyway since last year i have decided not to celebrate anymore.. coz i tink no point to celebrate also.. another ordinary day.. =(
Going out later alone.. to window shop rather staying at home sia.. trying to look for a bag, but broke see first then decide wan to buy anot.. Buy some t shirt as well, i will go poly with jeans and t shirt only.. haha.. dun nid to dress myself up, dun intend to get any bf in poly too.. wanna 2 find 1 tat can last de, tink of e future. My nephew went out together with my eldest sis to
east coast park to cycle early in the morning.. i still can heard my sis told my nephew tat i slept like a pig (-(oo)-")... wat the... Going out to wind myself also.. haiz... =o)
Anyway ytd took a cab, the uncle talk to me abt BGR... i was like ..... ??? all around.. say dun know wat sei be be.. Tell mi i'm pretty if he's young he will go after me... wat the... too old for me liao lahz.. haha... maybe i relie good in attracting such guyz ah... old wan ... haha =)
Ytd smsed VK, didnt tel him tat i'm back frm the day i touched down.. was busy with stuffs until i forget then he say i bo xin.. sad... hehe.. chatted with him on the phone at 12 am.. talked for an hour.. so long nv chatted with him.. kind of miss him ya.. haha =) my piggy brother.. a close bro to me.. chatted with him alot of tings.. i and him have a deal wor.. we will go hong kon
g this year.. go together .. hehe.. promised mie liao.. haha.. alrite going out soon even though its raining heavily..juz wan to get out lahz...
Ciao~
Rui Qin |Friday, April 14, 2006
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Ytd was a busy day for mi sia... Early in the morning went to office for a short briefing for the upcoming events... Stayed there for abt 1 hour.. talked to sharon jie, passed her the gift that i bought for her at taiwan... Expected tat she will say us why spend the money to buy for her.. haha.. but it juz the tots that counts.. i only bought a few only... hehe...
Wake up damn early lo.. didnt get much sleep the day before.. recently slept well at night maybe becoz have been busy with my stuffs during the day... Ytd also..
Have lunch with sharon jie, chen yi and other colleague and ty... sharon jie treat us at di lou.. dim sum.. but didnt eat much... too full.. recently have been gordgeing myself with tabits and food.. feeling fat again... haiz cant go on like tat.. After lunch went to NYP to submit the enrollment forms also the last day to submit.. check my time table.. OMG sch starts on mon i haven buy any clothes... wanna to buy a new bag.. but now broke liao.. super broke so have to wait till my pay comes in... Lucky for me err... fri i dun nid to go to sch means that my weekend i can work already wor.. but sad ah... thurs i study until 9 pm... by the time reach home... hmmm... late lo... but hack care liao ah.. can go poly i dun care where it located at... i have been travelling to clementi for the past 2 years liao.. so this mean nothing to me at all..
Well, i hate this kind of feeling gotta to know new classmate but wat to do haf to be in the same class as them for 3 years so have to ... Unfamiliar environment makes mi scare sia.. i fear.. heart broken too.. but relie no mood to talk abt it so much.. Wanna to get a new sling bag similar to the red bag i haf belonged to my younger sis.. but its old and spoilt so i decided to get a new 1... Ytd i got my final theory test.. so have to rush from 1 place to another... veri tiring.. somemore my bag is killing me so heavy sia.. After Final theory i still have to give tuition.. This is my whole day programme ytd... veri pack rite.. I have to cancel all my driving practical sia coz sch starts already... sianz half can only cancel 18 tickets if not gotta fine sia $5 each time i cancel... gotta 2 b careful when book...
2.30PM i still in NYP... shit me man! i got a e-trial test at 2.15 i was late for it.. so i decided to skip it.. and make it for the 3.15PM e-trial before i take my FTT at 4.30PM, my heart was pumping so fast nia.. coz i nv study since the day i back frm taiwan.. sad ... hehe.. anyway i juz went ahead before that i was tinking not to go but stupid la.. waste tat $6...coz sch starting soon gotta to b a bit budget have to spend money to buy textbooks for lessons... so i took a cab frm NYP to CDC lo.. $7 .. haiz... rather than i go down again another day .. gotta busy soon so went ahead.. BUT I PASSED MY FTT... wahaha... thankz god ah.. nv study sia.. now i can concentrate on my driving practical liao..hehe =)
Took a cab again to give tution cost mi $5.. wow the whole day have been taking cab sia... broke nia but have to la.. rush for time.. anyway gotta to busy with packing up my room again .. throw away those unwanted stuffs lo before my mum starts to nag at me again. No time to lose.. 
when i'm occupied with things i wun tink so much so try my very best to keep myself busy with stuffs. This makes mi more happier especially packing up my things is like throwing away my negative feeling.. hehe...
I know go poly will get to see alot of different ppl so i will change to be more quiet, keep a low profile.. haha.. alrite dude gotta to stop here..
Ciao~!~
Rui Qin |Friday, April 14, 2006
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Wednesday, April 12, 2006 || Crashed n Lost...
I have decieded not to be care abt any1 anymore... m i selfish? i dun know.. i juz was hurt again.. and again... I hate this feeling to the core... Y m i alw the 1?? Y on EARTH muz i face this kind of things again... wat the fish.. basket... throw it into the sea...
My feeling was so strong... i was stupid damn stupid to fall into the trap again... i tot i have found some1 who can hold mi firm to walk out of the darkness of my life and face the sunlight again.. but NO!!~!~! no way... m i dreaming ?? i asked myself.. i would say yes, my dream are shattered and broken and heart broken m i.. who can understand who can console mi ... No~!~ no1 i was hiding myself in a corner to hide dun dare to face others.. Not a single sight at all... Hide myself in the darkness forever and ever... i dun know why...
nop i'm tired of all these games already, which i used to play during my younger days.. but now.. wat can i ask for more i doubt so... i have beem munching on food for the past few days already..even though i know its veri bad for health but wat can i do..?? who should i turn to?? i have no1 to talk to... trying to cried myself to sleep at night tat is why i'm so tired during the day...
Haiz... life relie gone bonkers for me to handle sia... i shld learn to be hard heartened even though i know i cant make it... i dun bear i juz dun i will feel guilty.. I juz feel inferior tat all's... The feeling is damn not good lo.. i juz cant explain tat with juz words alone... I juz hope tat i will juz leave the hurting place without telling any1 and get to some where i dun know any1 to forget wat i have gone through...
Maybe the kindness tat i have for u... To u maybe u tink this should be the way ... I hope u will appreciate wat i have done in slience... dun nid much maybe all these will juz vanish into the air 1 day... will do... sob sob.. crying in the world of my own.. M i pouring in too much?? but i'm juz simply too tired... will nv tink anymore... totally drain.. i'm skeptical about myself too... =~(
Rui Qin |Wednesday, April 12, 2006
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Tuesday, April 11, 2006 || Taiwan Paradise...
This pic taken we having a feast during the last night... hehe... nice food to eat but too bad having terrible headache on that day... =(
Hey can u imagine tat this pic was taken in a toilet ... Well so high class... so posh as well.. haha... yupz took it at the place where we sat the Mo Tian Lun... So pity tat Mr Uncle Ng didnt join us.. anyway i still own u a apologise and thankz for everything tat u have done... touched ya...The weather there so cool... i like the weather there also.. even though have sun but the wind is enough to drive off th
e hot feeling ... Cool.. we can still said those taiwan ppl siao to wear so thick during the day... but it stupid of us.. haha the weather dropped to 16 degree in the day ah.. OMG ... =P
These food is enough for u to drool already lo... lolx.. we don have such a deliciaries in SINGAPORE ... wat a waste sia... relie taste nice sia... Heaven ah... How come taiwan ppl wun get fat when most of their food are deep fried... OMG...
This table of foods is we bought back to celebrate sia;... as well as a big feast for the last nite at taiwan lo.. mostly importantly is for MR TY de lo... hehe... thankz him for everything nia... hopefully he likes the present we bought for him too.. hehe.. hey muz remember to wear hor.. I got so much to share relie cant finish sharing sia.. hehe...
Anyway this is the pic tat i when we are having a feast wor.. LIkes this pic alot too.. anyway i love all the pics i took in taiwan... Its a 1 life time enjoyment... relie enjoy it to the fullest... =)
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e are at the mountain top!!!! haha.. so cold... do u belief?? HEHE... nop this pic was taken along the mrt path... a giantic screney poster... hey we got good idea of taking photos ya... Look naturally and gorgoues rite...
Rui Qin |Tuesday, April 11, 2006
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Hilow... back at least i update my blog frequently.. trying my best to update wateva i can.. Erm.. today didnt go anywhere so stayed at home for the 3rd day already... Good feeling have not been staying at home and haf that homely feeling for a period of time already.... The weather was cool today.. i slept until 11.30am didnt realise it coz i seldom sleep until so late... I open my eye and look out of the window the sky was dark so i thought it was still early but when i look at the clock i tot the clock spoilt but when i saw my mum i know i relie slept like a pig until the sky darkened also dun know.. haha... so long nv sleep like tat lehz.. Maybe becoz after the taiwan trip that relie tired me out totally ... haha =0)
Went to visit the doctor after washing up... my mum have cook my brunch already but i didnt know in a hurry to go out before the clinic close for lunch break... Monthly visit still got wat to get my medicine lo... haha... 'Ping Xue'...
Well, today received a sms frm juliana she asked me whether shld we make a trip down to poly and ask them abt our package for the poly so long liao haven heard any news frm them.. quite anxious.. so i decided to meet her tml at her workplace and go poly before we go jalan kayu for dinner... Have a chat with her too... so long well of coz i miss her alrite.. haha...
I went to the website to search for NYP hotlines no. decided to call them and ask them if not tml will waste a trip down .... I called them up and asked them wat is my status izzit being accepted by the poly... and i was overwhemled with joy... jumping up and down i was accepted by them!!!!! Got in to my first choice ... Biz Management... haha... cool man!~!~! The nite before was searching through internet about my university of calgary, vancouver, canada... Enrollment during september ... i was tinking that maybe i shld enroll early rather than wasting time.. but now tink i finish my dipolma first then decide wat to do next... anyway tat is definite that i will not stay in singapore for the rest of my life... i emigrate to other country ... there's a matter of time... see who have that power to ask mi to stay here... hehe =) anyway i'll upload some photos we took at taiwan ...
ciao~!~!~
Rui Qin |Tuesday, April 11, 2006
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Monday, April 10, 2006 || 我是真的累了！
I'm Tired... Mentally Drained！I'm truly tired of everything... indeed... sometimes i question abt myself... why should i alw b the 1 to face all these alone.. i dun know.. relie dun know... I talked to juliz on the phone ytd and chatted veri long... we have so much to talk abt.. Abt my taiwan trips, and she was saying tat i throw her alone in Singapore.. hehe... sorry juliz dun mean tat.. well u haf planned the japan trip too.. so let's start to save up and go together!!! I promised i will go with u no worries...
Ytd we were on the phone talking abt the poly entry application... I was in daze.. didnt know wat to do.. waited quite long for the things, hopefully everythings goes well sia.. if not the next moment either i will stay in Singapore and worked for 1 year and continue my study or i fly over to Canada straight away... sometimes i will ponder for myself should i stay or get out beta.. I hope tat some1 can relie give mi an answer i dun know.. i relie dun know.. kind of lost myself already... I wanted to go but i dun bear to leave this places. A place where i so familiar with, a place with all of my frenz, family and also sad things that reminds mi of...
If 1 day i didnt say Bye to my frenz and leave the country.. i noe my fren will worry for me, sometimes i nid some1 to be there but it seemed empty and impossible to achieve that too.. I juz haf no confident in myself to walk out of the darkness alone.. I nid a hand, a hand with warm and able to hold firm to me and said "I'm here for you, don worry, trust me!" well.. its abit like drama ya.. haha =o) i mean tat wat i feel lah... i'm a person who tinks alot... Good, Bad or worst wateva it can be i can tink of... anyway its up to u guyz might tink... prephaps to some1 is PMS ba...
Ciao~
Rui Qin |Monday, April 10, 2006
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Saturday, April 08, 2006 || Home Sweet Home!~!~!
Time flies like nobody business like tat lehz... So fast i'm back from the taiwan trip... haha.. 6 days staying under 1 roof the feeling relie different sia.. get to know my frenz alot beta...
I'm feel so gulity that dh n ty quarrel... kind of feeling scare wor... i dun like ppl to quarrel too... Know tat wat's the reason behind..I kind of stupid ya. Only know how to tink about enjoying and playing, didnt realise the safety of others. Kind of selfish act have to reflect on myself... =~( The selfish part of me shows sia.. Hate that feeling.. Crash it and throw it away~~~ far away from me leave that at taiwan didnt wan to bring it back home.. I dun wish their frenzship juz end there... Nobody wish dun even nid to mention abt mi ... Hereby to say SORRY coz i relie nid to say and have to do it... During this trip, trickle mi to tink alot alot alot of things... abt my life, time spent with frenz cherish and treasure it...
I'm sorry that i lost control of my feeling tat day... I dun wan the whole trip to make it miserable for everyone neither becoz of me or not happy with one another... That's a journey of life that we haf to accept it to compromise one another ... I can say that this is the gruop of frenz who dun holds grudges between one another coz after tat i still can see the smile on their faces, erase away all my tears already... Coz this is the way frenz should be ah.. when u are not happy said it out after that we can see rainbow where we still can enjoyed it together as a whole... = o)
On plane back to home, Alina and me chatted alot about her frenz and we talked abt r/s.. She and Pj said that i'm a independent person who can do alot of things on my own... Well, I might look strong to them but inside my heart is alot of fragile than wat others might tink... I dun like to show it off.. coz i dun wan others to worry abt my safety... One thing for sure is that, which gal is not afraid to be alone..i might said tat is okie i can handle loneless but who knows what my heart feels?? Who knows that i have been crying coz i'm afraid, alone, lost, confused ?? Frankly speaking, i juz nid a hand who can hold me firmly... Didnt ask much for anything... =(
I have told PJ and Julie before belief they can understand how it relie feels... Its veri scary.. Sometimes i nid a shoulder to lean on to cry , a hug to comfort mi to ensure that i have some1 to know my presence... Tat is why i alw tell PJ and Julie that i'm envy them coz they have some1 by their side... Ask them to cherish and treasure... coz no 1 in the world is perfect neither do i.. outsiders can see things beta than those who r inside the comfort zone ah.. coz they dun know they already being protected...
During the 3 day of our trip, i have been forced to seperate frm the rest coz its the last train operated for the day... I was being pushed to another cabin.. I able to alight at the correct stop but the rest didnt manage to alight.. I was afraid definitly not becoz i'm scare for myself.. fear conquered me tinking of the other's safety... I was sitting alone outside the railway station .. My tears was rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably.. I can't stop myself tinking where my frenz landed at?? We are in a foreign country and their passports and the hostel keys are with me.. I cant stop myself tinking about all these questions... I relie cant.. Even though they took a cab back to the hostel i juz cant bring myself to ask them any of these questions, r they ok?? Anything can went wrong at anytime anywhere, who knows... most important is their passport are with me... the most important documents...
Is ok if others saw i'm crying becoz i'm angry because they throw mi aside... All sort of feeling also have difficult to describe it in words... Coz i dont intend to explain as long as i know what i'm doing coz i dun wan other to repay me their kindness nor said that i'm noble.. I'm not noble as wat some might see.. if i'm then i wun be here already ah... I juz wan them to appreciate the things that i have done for them.. tat's all... i also dun wan them to spend money to buy expensive things for me.. coz all these are materialistic things ah which can use money to buy..Even though they bought a FROG for me i appreciated it alot alot.. Thankz dude!~!~ I loving it... a small gift, stuff is already enough, sufficient for me to drive away those negative feeling...
This trip i feel abit sad coz i didnt relie manage to take alot of pics of taiwan scenery. Most of our time spend on shopping... if u guyz still dun know why i didnt buy alot of stuffs this is the reason, most of the things i bought back is for others.. haha =P but i ate alot of stuff sia.. think have put on weight liao lehz.. haha =P the food the nicer than S'pore.. that 1 i agreed wor... And the things sold there is expensive.. But i have bought some unique stuffs la even though is X coz i cant find it here... wahahaha!~!~!~! I'm a practical person, normally i boughts things for frenz is becoz i know they will use it or they will like it.. I wun buy things for the sake of buying it, in the end i know i will leave it in 1 corner.. hehe... Coz i more comfort in jeans and t-shirt.. hehe... didnt follow the trend if not i'm broke already ah.. wahaha =P
This the reason why i like travelling so much becoz i get to see the landscape of others country which s'pore don have.. if i nv step out of my comfort zone i wun know actually outside this comfort zone there's more things to see and enjoy.... Nice scenery to view too... No worries i will be having my next trip soon... this time round will go Hong Kong... Alrite will say more the next round ba coz u'm tired already...
Ciao!~!~
Rui Qin |Saturday, April 08, 2006
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Sunday, April 02, 2006 || Meeting Up...
Haha... back again but this time round I will be away for a week lehz... yahoo~ going to taiwan for my holidays before I ready to start my poly sch... erm dun know can get in or not lehz... wa kao.... veri slow lo... My classmate ismadi got his approval from Republic Poly I so anxious now dont know what is the result of my posting ... haha.aa
Damn tired now... didnt relie catch much sleep ytd... went to lin's 21st b'dae party and met up with my other secondary sch frenz and classmates as well... Well, is kind of 'pai seh' coz i have seldom contact with my other classmates then suddenly saw them like got nothing to say lehz... haiz... But we took a lot of great photos.... haha... so long nv take with Lin already ... She look gorgeous well ppl do change after 18 that wat normal ppl describe... Yupz... didnt have the time to post up the photos that we had took... Will post it up when I come back with more fantastic photos alrite.. The day before on the fri I met up with juli and Pj ... so long that the 3 of us have our photos taken since 15 Dec.... Wow... that long.. well of coz we cherish the time we had together la... hey u know time flies alrite... hehe (-_-")... Got quite a few sms frm frenz asking me to take good care of myself when i'm overseas... Haiz.... anyway gotta to miss my parents relie... miss them lotz... especially my mother..
Got to buy something for her when i'm over at taiwan ... so hey let's enjoy these times together ba....
ciao
Rui Qin |Sunday, April 02, 2006
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