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Saturday, April 15, 2006 || Juz 1 2 B myself... A TRUE ME!~!~
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Having big headache sia.. Ytd didnt catch any sleep..Not becoz i didnt wan to rest but it was my eldest sis.. slept together with her on the floor, coz my nephew came my house and stayed for 2 nights... I gave up my bed for him to sleep.. Ytd even though raining so heavily still went out alone.. erm.. spent $20 for a new bag and a new collar t-shirt... Feeling beta lehz..
Erm.. Today also have to send my nephew home, OMG his bag (luggage) was so heavy nia... hehe.. bought him to eat KFC for his brunch so naughty ah.. he got a few questions he didnt know how to do so trying to help him to solve but fight my lappy with me.. sad ah.. sob sob..
Went to meet PJ later in the noon to collect my luggage before i start sch if not will b busy all the way dun know i'm busy with wat too.. anyway my time table will be packed with sch, works and my driving also... quite a few things to do sia.. sian ah.. (-_-") beta also at least used my time to the fullest...
anyway juz chatted on e phone with juli and pj... well a good n nice chat though.. well, juliz have talked to me to my sense once again.. hey thanks dude if not i still idle in my own world.. get myself back normal already.. Get the facts correct and get back myself on feet.. btw gotta to tell tat i'm sure that i'm going to close my heart already. didnt wan to accept or let myself to fall so easily.Have no time for all these things anymore liao, i didnt wan to escape frm the problems.. even when juliz told me i'm firm enough to say that i'm not crying n relie i'm not shedding any tears at all... do u all belief? Well i know u all dun belief but i'm relie not.. I'm have been running away frm the problems for a period of time already coz i have been trying to make up for some mistakes that i have done.. I didn't wan to deceive myself anymore coz i have no more time left..got so much things to accomplish sia..
If u happen to read my blog.. i'm sorry.. frm today onwards i'm treating every 1 as frenz those who are close to me too,, my dearest sis n bros...=) Pls dun treat mi too cold i juz dun like coz i'm more comfortable joking and talking with every1 that i used to.. without having any special feeling ya.. =) is up to u to accept it or wat.. i dun know.. coz ppl heart is veri difficult to guess.. n i totally drained i dun wish to continue the game again... Not again.. I jux wish u have read and treat mi the way u used too..I know it very annoying and irritating if ppl r trying to pull the string.. I too hate it.. but i hope tat our frenship wun stop here.. if u haf any problems u too can approach mi will try my best to help any1.. Wan to get things straight I'll help any1 who approached mi for help.. s long s i know u r worthy to help... Dun wish to hurt any1 coz I'm running away frm the truth for a year lehz.. I'm so sorry tat all along i have mislead u n myself to give both of us the wrong feel. I dun wish to lost a good frenship between u n mi.. U're alw my fren, best frenz and of coz a bro to me~!~ I'm veri firm in all these words that i have said.. coz the longer the time i drag the more i will be hurt.. i'm trying to protect myself.. u can say i'm selfish, deceiving.. it relie up to u guys to judge.. I'm back to myself and a real me that have goals in life to achieve!~! =) BTW, thankz for all the cares and thankz for looking after me all these while.. so sorry if i ever m a burden to u.. =) didnt wan to b a burden to any1..Dun worry for me.. =) u still can see the happy me alw... =) a gal without worries n problems. free from worries smile r alw ready on her face.. =) i don wan to continue the guessing game anymore. =)
i treasure the frenship tat between us coz i dun wan to hurt any1 and don have the intention to do so... I'm not trying to put all the faults upon myself is juz tat it make mi reflects alot.. I gotta to b myself and truly myself.. I'm tired of all these.. why the hell should i be bothered by all these.. I have my aim and freedom to do the things i want and stop worrying about others. But too bad i cant stop worrying for my frenz.. But too bad frm now on, if ever i giving attitude stop bothering abt me.. I dun nid any sympathy nor any attentions frm any1 .. I juz wan to be myself... i've promised PJ already wat i have vowed that i should harden my heart frm tat moment n will nv feel touched if things comes unexpectedly.. I'm trying to protect myself against hurt again.. I truly hurt along the 2 years...
I'm who i'm.. shall not change for any1!~~!.. This is the true, real me... I'm looking forward on Mon.. get to know new frenz.. but honestly speaking i shall keep a low profile and will vanish frm sch once finished... I so sian lo.. Tml my parent out of the town again... (-_-") Oh ya.. i sprain my leg the day before when buying breakfast.. sob sob.. so painful still haven recover yet.. didnt consult any doctor.. =( veri pain until i cant put too much pressure on my left leg if not ... sad ah.. !~!~ shit me man!~!~!~
Rui Qin |Saturday, April 15, 2006
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