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Saturday, April 08, 2006 || Home Sweet Home!~!~!
Time flies like nobody business like tat lehz... So fast i'm back from the taiwan trip... haha.. 6 days staying under 1 roof the feeling relie different sia.. get to know my frenz alot beta...
I'm feel so gulity that dh n ty quarrel... kind of feeling scare wor... i dun like ppl to quarrel too... Know tat wat's the reason behind..I kind of stupid ya. Only know how to tink about enjoying and playing, didnt realise the safety of others. Kind of selfish act have to reflect on myself... =~( The selfish part of me shows sia.. Hate that feeling.. Crash it and throw it away~~~ far away from me leave that at taiwan didnt wan to bring it back home.. I dun wish their frenzship juz end there... Nobody wish dun even nid to mention abt mi ... Hereby to say SORRY coz i relie nid to say and have to do it... During this trip, trickle mi to tink alot alot alot of things... abt my life, time spent with frenz cherish and treasure it...
I'm sorry that i lost control of my feeling tat day... I dun wan the whole trip to make it miserable for everyone neither becoz of me or not happy with one another... That's a journey of life that we haf to accept it to compromise one another ... I can say that this is the gruop of frenz who dun holds grudges between one another coz after tat i still can see the smile on their faces, erase away all my tears already... Coz this is the way frenz should be ah.. when u are not happy said it out after that we can see rainbow where we still can enjoyed it together as a whole... = o)
On plane back to home, Alina and me chatted alot about her frenz and we talked abt r/s.. She and Pj said that i'm a independent person who can do alot of things on my own... Well, I might look strong to them but inside my heart is alot of fragile than wat others might tink... I dun like to show it off.. coz i dun wan others to worry abt my safety... One thing for sure is that, which gal is not afraid to be alone..i might said tat is okie i can handle loneless but who knows what my heart feels?? Who knows that i have been crying coz i'm afraid, alone, lost, confused ?? Frankly speaking, i juz nid a hand who can hold me firmly... Didnt ask much for anything... =(
I have told PJ and Julie before belief they can understand how it relie feels... Its veri scary.. Sometimes i nid a shoulder to lean on to cry , a hug to comfort mi to ensure that i have some1 to know my presence... Tat is why i alw tell PJ and Julie that i'm envy them coz they have some1 by their side... Ask them to cherish and treasure... coz no 1 in the world is perfect neither do i.. outsiders can see things beta than those who r inside the comfort zone ah.. coz they dun know they already being protected...
During the 3 day of our trip, i have been forced to seperate frm the rest coz its the last train operated for the day... I was being pushed to another cabin.. I able to alight at the correct stop but the rest didnt manage to alight.. I was afraid definitly not becoz i'm scare for myself.. fear conquered me tinking of the other's safety... I was sitting alone outside the railway station .. My tears was rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably.. I can't stop myself tinking where my frenz landed at?? We are in a foreign country and their passports and the hostel keys are with me.. I cant stop myself tinking about all these questions... I relie cant.. Even though they took a cab back to the hostel i juz cant bring myself to ask them any of these questions, r they ok?? Anything can went wrong at anytime anywhere, who knows... most important is their passport are with me... the most important documents...
Is ok if others saw i'm crying becoz i'm angry because they throw mi aside... All sort of feeling also have difficult to describe it in words... Coz i dont intend to explain as long as i know what i'm doing coz i dun wan other to repay me their kindness nor said that i'm noble.. I'm not noble as wat some might see.. if i'm then i wun be here already ah... I juz wan them to appreciate the things that i have done for them.. tat's all... i also dun wan them to spend money to buy expensive things for me.. coz all these are materialistic things ah which can use money to buy..Even though they bought a FROG for me i appreciated it alot alot.. Thankz dude!~!~ I loving it... a small gift, stuff is already enough, sufficient for me to drive away those negative feeling...
This trip i feel abit sad coz i didnt relie manage to take alot of pics of taiwan scenery. Most of our time spend on shopping... if u guyz still dun know why i didnt buy alot of stuffs this is the reason, most of the things i bought back is for others.. haha =P but i ate alot of stuff sia.. think have put on weight liao lehz.. haha =P the food the nicer than S'pore.. that 1 i agreed wor... And the things sold there is expensive.. But i have bought some unique stuffs la even though is X coz i cant find it here... wahahaha!~!~!~! I'm a practical person, normally i boughts things for frenz is becoz i know they will use it or they will like it.. I wun buy things for the sake of buying it, in the end i know i will leave it in 1 corner.. hehe... Coz i more comfort in jeans and t-shirt.. hehe... didnt follow the trend if not i'm broke already ah.. wahaha =P
This the reason why i like travelling so much becoz i get to see the landscape of others country which s'pore don have.. if i nv step out of my comfort zone i wun know actually outside this comfort zone there's more things to see and enjoy.... Nice scenery to view too... No worries i will be having my next trip soon... this time round will go Hong Kong... Alrite will say more the next round ba coz u'm tired already...
Ciao!~!~
Rui Qin |Saturday, April 08, 2006
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