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Friday, June 29, 2007 || Depressed...
Have u ever feel that something is crashing down on u for no reason?
Have u ever feel that y on earth u haf ever been finger pointed by others saying something that u feel hurts?
Have u ever?? Today i feel very very very sad.. I dun know y, partially is becoz i'm PMSing... but somehow i admit that i care abt others tink of me especially my frenz. Even though outside seen to be veri happy but i tink this is only the surface. Sometimes the feeling is very difficult to describe.
Well, i do... Today i have heard something that not me alone but any gal out there hates to hear and is that.. "hey you put on weight or hey what happen to u, u seen 2 b more chubby than before!" Well.. to me is okie if someone whom i not veri close to me said that to me but its NOT... Its someone whom i know and quite a close fren to me. Do you all agree that a fren will never put 1 down or said anything that will hurt? I believe that a true fren is some1 who will support u and push u on no matter what happen. And of coz true fren are those who dun care abt each other bad points... I juz too tired of these comments.. I veri disappointed in myself as well, alw say wan to do something but in the end i didn't manage to accomplish. I hate being like tat.... I HATE!!!!
I dun know how to describe how i feeling rite now, but its feeling damn sucks lo.. I relie hate all these things that i'm facing.
My mum juz went for operation on wed... accompany her these few days. Even though she didn't manage to walk too much, i believe tat its a good time for her to rest plenty at home. I relie feel i can do it man! Can i ???
I BELIEVE I CAN!!!! Jia you ba.....
Rui Qin |Friday, June 29, 2007
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007 || Stressed....
Any week of stress that i'm facing... with all the deadlines that we have to submit our projects lo..
Ytd went for my OSEP interview... I was like no hope liao lehz.. I dun tink i have hope in getting any seats. Anyway i wun be bothered abt the outcome whether am i selected to go anot. AT least i done my best and my very best to submit everything from the start. I dun know what am i doing also. I dun know wat i want to do as well...
Today got back my EFMA got 26/35 which is beyond my expectation coz i dun intend to pass anyway. But thankz god la, manage to clear the paper but will do my best for my exam, getting back my biz finance too.. Today also juz finish my HR test which i know i also nv put all my heart in studying didn't expect to get well too.. Ytd study half way then dozed off my bed when i know is raining like mad! Hey, that's so long that at night rain like tat... But can't be bothered so much juz like sleeping time which is the time that i can relie SLACK.. haha
Tell u a secret, recently i like to go shopping myself lehz... and somehow like to keeps thing to myself.. Anyway i tink too stress le, tat's y no mood to talk oso... Recently like get pissed by easily tat's y nid some time off for myself.
To be continue~
Rui Qin |Tuesday, June 26, 2007
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Friday, June 15, 2007 || Tired....
I'm back here to blog again... You know wat... even rite now having sch holidays but its the time for us to catch up with the pace of the sch works and projects.. I have 7 projects to rush... Oh my god... Ok i will let you the number of projects i nid to do...
Subjects Date of Submission
1) EFMA - 03 July
2) French Essay - 03 July
3) ICT - 05 July
4) Biz Finance - 05 July
5) Biz Law - 16 July
6) Marketing - 16 July
7) Human Resource - 30 July
This is the amount of projects nid to finish before mid july... That's sucks rite.. So many things and ICAs are coming up as well.. i dun know how long can i last...
Somemore..... I nid to plan my ITE class BBQ on the 07 July and my chalet on the 14 July... In which i damn tired la... Haiz.. hopefully stress make me slim not putting more weights ah.. Headache.. So stress.. haiz...
Ytd work full shift then the dae before work from 10 am to 2 am... Is damn shack la.. Tot today off day can rest more but early in the morning the weather wake me up with a loud thunder means = i nid to keep the clothes in... That gone my sleep... Then today my external hard disk spoilt again!! Relie oh my god lo.. That's not the worst .. The worst is my "best fren" came and visit me.. That's explain why the past few days no appeitate to eat.. Haiz.. So sian lo.. Hopefully things will be back on track again. When holidays i wish sch reopen soon... Sch reopen how i wish faster sch holidays.. Haiz.. Veri confused hor... haha.. think tat is human nature la.!!!!
Sian.. Gotta to rush my french essay first.. At least get this things done first.. Tml nid to work again!!!! Thank god ytd remind my boss i dun wan to work full is damn tired la... have been non working for the past 1 week liao without rest.. Today finally can go out with my poly frenz to celebrate her birthday take the opportunity to play till we drop!!! haha...
Ciao!
Rui Qin |Friday, June 15, 2007
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Thursday, June 07, 2007 || Frustrated....
I juz being frustrated about myself, why am i alw tink tat i'm correct. Why am i also so useless? Why am i can't improve myself???
These questions are floating in my mind rite now. You might guessing why on earth i said these kinds of things. I simply can't stop hating myself. I wan to improve without any effort is useless.. I'm so useless right now...Yesh and i mean it at this moment!!!!
I'm alw worried things that are way beyond and nv think of things that are right in front of me. Today ICT presentation is SUCKS and is DAMN SUCKS.... Yes i cried in class.. I think there are too much things for me to handle liao. I dun know why this feeling overcome me for the past weeks liao..
I dun know how to explain but i feel tat things ard me have changed.. Even my frenz old frenz whom i know. The feeling is no longer like wat i had in the past. Its totally different but i tink this things affected me the most. I kept everything to myself and today i can't tolerate anymore. Its so difficult to say it out, maybe i can say tat our frenzship isn't tat strong anyway. I dun know, its is when a fren got a boyfren they will cut down going out with u and stuffs??? I dun know... its a big question marks for me to answer for all... Its like a stranger asking me stuffs, i dun know how to deal with it. Something is wrong, the conversation tat we had is like surface stuffs.
Today i saw her and talk to her but she don't seemed to be interested abt things that i wanted to say. I juz feeling hurtz, a hurtz tat i know its too much for me to find out. Am i sensitive? I doubt so... M i too over-reacting? I doubt so.. i hope somebody can help me to untie the misery that i'm suffering rite now. I quite sad! Totally!!!
Tears rolling down again!!! These few days are too emotional already. PMS??? Maybe but its only form part of it... Different ppl got different perspection of life, & i'm tired of it. Tired of being the one who put in effort in a frenship.. A claps nid two hands to form, 1 hand will nv succeed. Maybe all of us are busy with our own things but stop saying things that are too hurting for me to handle.. I dun know..
Pls dig a hole and throw me in!!!!!
Rui Qin |Thursday, June 07, 2007
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Argh.. having a big headache rite now.. I dun know how sia lehz... Opening chalet for my b'dae or have buffet at home can liao... I dun know la...
Haiz... Who can help mi decide.. Its like too costly leh... But hor 1 in a lifetime.. I tink i nid to discuss with my parents and see what they said....
Last mon juz submitted my application for the france thingys.. I dun know whether fate allows me to go anot.. I wish i can go coz its like 1 in a lifetime thingy that is the experience that i'm looking for sia.. I still thinking...
Its a large sum of money so from now on i nid to save save save and save... These few days not relie in good mood.. Neither have the mood to do anything.. Wanna to relax myself this semester modules are damn difficult to study... Its like all of them i also dun like .. Headache sia.. I hope i can clear la.. No more supp paper means i nid to study extra extra hard.. Later on still got ICT presentation which i also dun like la.. Sian lehz..
How ah..I wish this semester can pass faster than before lo... I juz can't wait...
Ciao~
Rui Qin |Thursday, June 07, 2007
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Tuesday, June 05, 2007 || Stress and Depressed...
Haiz.. this semester is damn stress la... all the modules i dun like.. first biz law, then biz finance, and EFMA which is not my cup of tea la...
Tot 1st year clear my accounting was so happy in the end have to take up accounting modules again in year 2.. Sianz i tink i have no heart to study lo... All my classmates are so clever kind of stress lo.. I nid to put extra extra hard to study lehz.. Cannot like tat liao.. Through hard work then manage to get into poly cannot waste my efforts juz because of some obstacles that i'm facing now.. I can't wait for my 2 weeks term break la.. But still nid to go back to sch to do my projects.. Its kiling me.. Haiz.. Buried myself with projects lehz.. And those lessons i also dun like.. How i wish this semester can past faster sia... Headache sia..
Haiz... I dun know la. this week feeling veri tired and restless... Like do anything also no energy... How i wish time can past faster..... Shit it man! haiz.. Somehow.. recenlty i emotion again. Maybe too stress ba. Ytd piggy came and look 4 me at my hse passed me back my VCD, haha bullied him ah. Coz i too lazy to meet him le in e end he looked for me outside my hse... So long nv see him liao he became charcoal le wor... Kind of miss the days we went out together in the middle of the night to have supper at geylang at our favourite food stalls "beef hor fun" haha.. even though i cannot eat beef la coz of my family religions but i still eat la...
Haha... erm.. kind of sad too.. anyway right now having Biz finance lab lesson which no different from EFMA la... Sianzzzzzzzzzz who can hlp mi!!!!!!!!!
Next week whole week will be busy working with the starting from friday till next sat....Ytd juz submit my OSEP application i hope i can go la coz i wanna to escape frm wat i'm facing now. to b continue. . .
Rui Qin |Tuesday, June 05, 2007
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