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Wednesday, April 12, 2006 || Crashed n Lost...
I have decieded not to be care abt any1 anymore... m i selfish? i dun know.. i juz was hurt again.. and again... I hate this feeling to the core... Y m i alw the 1?? Y on EARTH muz i face this kind of things again... wat the fish.. basket... throw it into the sea...
My feeling was so strong... i was stupid damn stupid to fall into the trap again... i tot i have found some1 who can hold mi firm to walk out of the darkness of my life and face the sunlight again.. but NO!!~!~! no way... m i dreaming ?? i asked myself.. i would say yes, my dream are shattered and broken and heart broken m i.. who can understand who can console mi ... No~!~ no1 i was hiding myself in a corner to hide dun dare to face others.. Not a single sight at all... Hide myself in the darkness forever and ever... i dun know why...
nop i'm tired of all these games already, which i used to play during my younger days.. but now.. wat can i ask for more i doubt so... i have beem munching on food for the past few days already..even though i know its veri bad for health but wat can i do..?? who should i turn to?? i have no1 to talk to... trying to cried myself to sleep at night tat is why i'm so tired during the day...
Haiz... life relie gone bonkers for me to handle sia... i shld learn to be hard heartened even though i know i cant make it... i dun bear i juz dun i will feel guilty.. I juz feel inferior tat all's... The feeling is damn not good lo.. i juz cant explain tat with juz words alone... I juz hope tat i will juz leave the hurting place without telling any1 and get to some where i dun know any1 to forget wat i have gone through...
Maybe the kindness tat i have for u... To u maybe u tink this should be the way ... I hope u will appreciate wat i have done in slience... dun nid much maybe all these will juz vanish into the air 1 day... will do... sob sob.. crying in the world of my own.. M i pouring in too much?? but i'm juz simply too tired... will nv tink anymore... totally drain.. i'm skeptical about myself too... =~(
Rui Qin |Wednesday, April 12, 2006
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