:lovers:
Sunday, April 16, 2006 || Tired me man!!!
Hehe.. today is sunday suppose to go palau ubin early in the morning but dh said cancel coz weather is not good.. haiz.. so tired sia.. then didnt mangae to fall back to sleep then meet qiu ting to go and eat breakfast.. hehe, she designing her blog for 2 days didnt sleep.. hey sorry ah.. ur blog too nice liao.. i make some amendments n used it for my blog.. all ur effort nia... will change another skin again lehz.. Qiu Ting took a gong picturs of me... sian half then i took 
her also.. hehe...
---> look so gong nia... daydreaming becoz not enough rest.. haiz...
Then i decided to meet juli at 2.30 pm to shop around for PJ's present and shop for my sch.. sian today parent out of town have to wait until tue then they come back.. got to b busy with my things lehz.. Washing have to b done and other house chores.. hehe.. well its okie.. keeping my house clean i simply loving it... Went out with juli to Dobhy Ghaut then walk to far east to eat..
During eating we chatted alot nia.. Well.. wun run away from the reailty again despite its veri hurting... I am totally a idiot and a dumb ass man! i can't stop scolding myself.. i dun know why i'm totally hurt.. is it a wrong to like a person as a frenz without having BGR, I don wan to involve in any yet.. not committed to do so.. But it like juli understands how i feel totally.. If situations that have coz pressure on u i truely sorry .. i dun mean that to have happen on any1.. honestly speaking, i also dun wish these kinds of thing happen on u i rather i pick up all the things that are left to handle... My guilty conscience is clear and there's nothing for me to fear.. If i can face i hope u can.. I'm sad tat becoz of these things our frenship drafted away, this is wat i pity abt..If u have treated cold even though we still talk a bit, i relie don wish the frenship would fade off like tat... u're alw a bro, best pal, comforter who i can turn to and ask for advise.. My advisor also.. Becoz both of us kept quiet abt these things.. i know its awakened to talk abt it... But nv will i regret knowing you..
Sometimes i will ask myself y shld i alw help my frenz... Everything i will get the same thing back... HURTZ... well.. how can i protect myself.. if i say i dun wan to bother abt my frenz anymore i'm so sorry i cant help myself to do such things.. i din wan to see my frenz to fall when i can give them my helping hand... Well this is life, i gotta to learn i have learned alot alot... Those who nid help i can alw b there... feel free to approach me.. Promised !!
I dun know how to describe how i feel.. I treasure every frenship that comes along my life, and becoz of this attitude i alw veri soft heartened.. Even ppl had done a smallest tings for me i'll be touched.. Juliz and Pj know tat i dun expect them to repay any of their kindness neither will i accept them to spend money unneccessary on me... In such case, i tink i have to make myself to be a more tougher person.. Wun treat any1 nice nor open up myself again... I totally hurtz.. Its up to u to treat me... I wun b bothered anymore but i know i will.. Frenzship meant everything s to me... Nv regret in helping u in anything.. not u alone, others who approach me i will too.. If u take in pride having veri confident tat every gals have been treating u good, have good feeling towards u means = BGR.. then i'm relie sorry.. i'm not wat u think !~!~ Who knows the feeling of losing a frenz??
I'm not angry with any1 neither do i scolding any1.. juz wanna the fact rite, misunderstands to clear n let u know how i feel, tat all.. It okie if u haf hack care attitude but let u know yr frenz ard u care for u.. prehaps u may learn to b in their shoe... to those who u treasure alot.. Maybe u tink that who m i to say all these to u.. Other ppl's tinking i don care neither can i do anything abt it... ITS BEYONG MY CONTROL...I also don wish ah.. 
I hope u understand all these =) .. Different ppl have different character, but too bad my character is these i juz cant stop myself to care and think of others before myself.. this is me ,the true, real RQ =).. Piggy (^(oo)^) Jux comfortable being myself.. Wun change for others... Promised!~!~ I will still treat u as my beloved frenz.. Now n ever!~!
Nobody understands how i feel now ciao~!~
Rui Qin |Sunday, April 16, 2006
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