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Wednesday, April 26, 2006 || Dun know lahz...
Today juz not my day lo.. Able to catch the early bus to school but slept like pig cant even open my eyes... was down with flu today... BUT i forgot to bring my effective communication textbook and acounting lectures notes... Wanna to shout it out but i cant turn to any1.. Wanna to go kbox alone to sing my heart out..
Recently, i like to shut myself in the sch library to do my own things.. i dun know why.. haiz.. prephaps i didnt wan myself to tink too much of anything... I juz being foolish tat all.. Wo Hen Xin Kou... who can understands... Till my whole body relie haf no energy to fight for anything. Can collapsed anytime.. Can keep telling myself to be strong.. Today felicia came to sch, i was surprised tat she suddenly hug me and cried.. My tears was rolling at the tip of my eye side but trying to pull myself through... I have been fighting the battle all alone.. facing a lots of time alone.. ytd i was so frustrated when my sis was teaching me accounts after so many times that she repeated still catch no ball... Left mi alone reading the textbook was sitting alone in the kitchen using the dining table to do my work.. Tears started to roll down my cheeks.. I dun know izzit becoz of the stress of wat.. But i was like crying like so bitter.. My chest was so pain...
In class joke around with my classmates but when sch finish.. I was alone again.. I can be alone and maybe i started likes to be alone too.. a quiet me... =(... Trying to plan my schedule so pack that i wanna to forget everything clear off my mind.. Throw away the stress and burden.. Was talking on the phone with PJ relie miss her and Juliz... relie lo... Trying hard to forget things but dun know why lo... Try to drink.. Go clubbing??? still dun know.. I juz dun like to go this place... Sorry didnt blog ytd becoz i got so much things to do then dun have the time to blog then also wanna to catch more sleep. When i was about to sleep my dear darrice called me.. we chatted very long miss the time we had.. haha a nice chat though hope to meet him before he goes army ah.. kind of miss him coz he relie can understand me tat well ... haha... Not totally... Its juz the emoitonally hurtzz... hopefully will get well soon.. Recently receive too much le.. cant take it.. will bonkers anytime...
Ytd out of the urge went for treatment for my hair then cut my hair too.. but only the frine... too long veri itchy sia dun like it... Wanted to cut short my hair.. still dun know whether wan to cut anot.. Haiz... Tink i will buy the DKNY for myself juz to pamper ba... Juz too tired not physically only but also emontionally too... Too much things for me to handle le ba... Urm.. this fri tink will go kbox ask PJ to go with me.. she's not in good mood too.. Cheer her up then see wat i can... (^-^) I don know ... JUZ PMS F&*^$&*))*&*(&*%$ .... juz not myself... Hey is my characteristics sux?? M i alw too good to people till i alw take advantage of?? M i blinded by the kindness tat i have for people... I wish i can be hard hearented i juz wish i can but i will NV... its too much for me to bear already.. I miss darrice.. hehe..
Rui Qin |Wednesday, April 26, 2006
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